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Monday, May 9, 2011

Shout Out To Hogan

Remember way back when I talked about our peeps and how I just blurted out over the telephone that I was engaged? And I declared that 'you are in the wedding'? Ya, major fail. You see I made the mistake of not asking my girls, but telling them they were apart of the wedding party. For 7 of the 8, this was a non-issue. But for BM Hogan it was an issue.

{Friend Hay, BM Hogan, Me, Schlapps at a Dinner Party}

Thanks to My Ex:

BM Hogan & I met through an ex-boyfriend of mine, who she is pretty close with. When I was dating the ex, her & I were very close, spending majorities of our weekends together on my couch. Then I broke up with him and began living the single life.

{Schlapps, Me, BM Hogan in Telluride, CO}

Singles & Not:

BM Hogan has an incredible *going on six years* relationship with a guy and so having one of her best friends live the single life was hard. On both of us. We slowly started drifting apart, even though we would still talk and hang out, it just wasn't the same. Then I met D.

{Me, Hogan's Man, BM Hogan}

Enter the New Guy:

D & I fell head over heels very quickly and moved in together very quickly. BM Hogan keeps her friends very close to her heart and is quick to question decisions if they could end up hurting said friends. Needless to say, her defenses went up. And when her defenses went up, my wall went up. We trekked along throughout the summer and then when we got engaged, she got my phone call declaring her a part of the wedding. Looking back, I think doing it this way was an effort to make her see that my decision to move in with D was okay. I think I felt that if she was a part of our day, she could better support us. She didn't feel that way.

{Me, Schlapps & BM Hogan playing in the snow}

Boiling Point:

We rarely talked or hunt out. Then I sent out the bridesmaid email outlining what I had envisioned the girls to wear and never heard back from the Hogan. After a week and a half, I sent her a follow up email and questioned if she really wanted to be a part of our wedding.

{BM Candace, BM Hogan & me}

Turning Point:

We met for coffee and I was nervous NERVOUS. I am not good at confrontation: my words get jumbled and my face turns red and my palms sweat. Not.Good. I started by stating that my feelings were hurt for her not jumping on board with D & I. I expected her to bash him and our relationship, and I braced for it...red face and all. Boy was I wrong. She explained that we had drifted apart, that we didn't communicate anymore and she wasn't sure why I actually wanted her in my wedding. Ouch.

{Me, BM Hogan, & Friend Ollie Girl}

Humble Pie:

Her inability to commit to our wedding was because of OUR relationship. We didn't hang out. We didn't talk. We didn't do dinners together. We weren't in a healthy friendship place. I learned a lot that day, and it had nothing to do with the wedding we were throwing. So we left it at 'lets see where our friendship goes'. Kind of like a high school romance that needs 'a break'. Ugh.

{Ollie Girl, BM Hogan, Hay, Schlapps & Me, Halloween 2010}


I got home that afternoon and had a text from Hogan saying thank you and I love you. That text meant everything. We rejuvenated our friendship step by step...but I was still a seven bridesmaid bride. And since we were rekindling our friendship, she was up on all my wedding ideas.

{Schlapps, Me, BM Hogan in Mexico for Schlapps Bachelorette Party}

Wine & Cry:

About six months later, Hogan & I were better than before our miscommunication blunder. It was almost effortless, we were just back to being great.friends. One night, a friend had a purse party...and in an effort to get ladies to buy purses, there was plenty of libations. We were standing outside laughing & talking and that's when Hogan cried. She told me she had wished we never had the miscommunication because she wanted to be in the wedding.

{Ollie Girl & Hay in background, Schlapps, Me & Hogan...too much Tequila}

Little Secret:

BM Hogan didn't know at the time, but I had already made my mind up by the night of the purse party that I was going to ASK her to be in the wedding.

Our Inside Joke:

I realize it's never going to be as funny to anyone.else but one day, back in the day, we were watching E THS, on Hulk Hogan. It was covering his wedding and that's when BM Hogan said: "How do you think they said their vows? I Hulk Take You To Be My Hogan?". We were literally rolling on the floor laughing, and we still do. In fact there has been numerous times when this gets brought up and her & I are left to ourselves to cry tears of laughter.

I wanted a creative way to *ask* her to be my bridesmaid, and our inside joke proved to have the perfect line: "I Hulk Take You To Be My Hogan".

Deciding to ask Hogan to be a bridesmaid also prompted me to do my very first wedding related DIY project. In two steps. Step one, I made Hoges a card with our inside joke and hand wrote a note inside asking her to be my bridesmaid. Step two was cards for the all the bridesmaid's, that evolved into a much larger project than I expected. Is this a sign for my DIY to come?!

Ohhh...wondering if BM Hogan accepted my invitation? Well she did! But again, LEARN FROM MY MISTAKE and take time to ASK your girls to be in your wedding. That's my PSA.

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